Contest is OVER!!!!

Time to put my feet up and rest a bit! The band did quite well at contest. I was very proud of them, I felt they gave it their all and did the very best they could. It hurt us that the first chair tuba player decided to be tardy to other classes and he was suspended for two days, making him unable to participate in contest today. BIG OOPS on his part. He is a very gifted player and the other two are not nearly as good or refined as him. This had me a bit down heading into contest, but I couldn't show the kids that. I am very disappointed in the boy, but I couldn't forget about the other 75 in the meantime.

It was very difficult to tune during warm-up. The room was so warm, then the air conditioning clicked on and changed everything right when we had it set. GRRR. On stage, we had to retune.

In the first part of the Suite, the intonation was bad. Of course part of it due to the fact my tuba player who usually played the solo was not there and so students not accustomed to playing it had to step in and try to be in tune with a baritone (he was more out of tune). It did get much better from there. I was pleased!

We then headed to sight reading, where my one student conducted the piece she prepared and she got the highest marks (YAY!). I was so very proud of her. The band then moved to the sight reading portion with me and the piece was a really cool American song! I felt it was a lot easier than what it should have been. We received the highest mars in that portion too! YIPPEEEE! Only one area had a slight mark-down, the expression. The kids could have done more with the shaping of the musical phrases, but the judge did say he saw me conducting the patterns, the kids just were not fully doing them. Still, a very good job.

We walked out of the room and headed back to the bus and were all feeling pretty happy with how everything went.

I went to get all of our scores, and we got a 3 on the stage (which is average). I felt we deserved higher, and the other band directors working the event said the judges were being extremely tough. They gave me compliments and I had several parents from other bands stop me and give compliments as well. Apparently, the sight reading judge was tough too, but he gave us very high marks so that is a great compliment.

I finally got to listen to the professional CD recording of the stage performance on my drive home from work. Oh gosh, things are painfully clear. They also do not sound the way I hear them in person from where I conduct and certainly quite different from the way I hear them in my band room. I am thinking the new band room sound quality basically stinks and is hurting us more than helping us. My brass (trumpets mostly) decided not to play phrases full length and they were all over in articulation. The tuning was rough in areas, but the kids worked hard to make it better and succeeded.

I am not going to lay blame on the average scores on my students alone. The refinement that is necessary for music of this level is just not there. It isn't there because I didn't put it there. Granted some of it I didn't know was lacking because things sound so different in our band room, but some is because I am not the calibre of director who just knows these things and how to fix them. Maybe I am looking too much to the big picture and not taking the entire picture apart. I know I did FAR more of this this year compared to last year, and it really helped. In some senses though, things I have taught and made comments on kids just did not follow through on every second of the performance.

So, I am a little down and feeling like I am not the quality of director that these talented kids need. I so want to be, but I don't think I honestly can be and still have my family and be a Mom too. I cannot devote every second of my life to working on those areas of concern with me personally. Sure, they are learning some good stuff, making music, and making respectable sounding music, but I don't know how to put the "sparkle" there. Maybe my place is better suited with a younger band or beginners, maybe such a high profile high school is not for me. Whatever it is, I am ok with that and we'll just have to see what happens.

OK, if I keep typing I might just melt into tears, and I refuse to let a few obvious truths mar the fact that they did a very nice job today. They were happy and that is what is important, not a number or rating a judge gives. However, that number means a great deal to my boss and I know he will not be terribly happy about it. I couldn't even bring myself to tell him either, I didn't feel like being spoken down to when he wasn't there to hear what they DID accomplish.

I am glad it is over and now life can go on. new music to look at, Spring break next week, and no more nerves. I am off to cook dinner and spend a bit of time with my FAMILY. It is so beautiful out today. 75 degrees and sunny, though storms coming tonight. Tis ok.