Dad was still lightheaded today, and while he did manage to eat a little bit, it still was not much. I went with him to physical therapy and he did everything sitting down today as to not pass out. He also did some occupational therapy where they checked how well he would do at sorting Irene's medications, he did perfect. By the time he got back to his room and I went to speak with the social worker, Irene was on her way back from chemo. It was then that all heck broke loose. She was so confused and very agitated and it got real ugly between her, my Dad and her daughter in law. Dad shed a few tears, which made me shed some, then I left to allow Marty to talk to Irene and get out of the room. I went back a little later and Dad's nurse came to say his blood work showed he was dehydrated and the decision was made that he needed to go to the hospital to get re-hydrated. That in itself is not a big deal, but it was just another thing that set Irene off a bit. She was saying very mean things, and I know ALL of them due to her frustration and confused state. I again left the room. A few minutes later I came back and Marty was talking to Irene, who seemed to have settled down a little...but then I heard something that hurt me to my very soul and set me leaving the room yet again as my phone rang having Dave call me. She was telling Marty that she did not understand why I was even here now because I didn't seem to care enough to be around when he had his cancer surgery (prostrate) or when he had the open heart surgery. I was shocked I was being put down in this manner and I left before I could respond. Plus, I knew Marty was not going to let her basically slam me without gently reminding her why I can't just jump in the car and drive 700 miles, why I cannot afford plane tickets, and that I have two young children and that my own father told me not to come and when/if the time comes that I need to rush here I will know and WILL be there. It worked out for me to come now without having to miss work and also for me to bring one child as to lessen the burden on Dave and our pocketbook which is near empty.
Marty came out to check on me, Dad understood me being upset and she said she did not want me to think that Irene really felt that way or that any of her children felt that way towards me. I told her that I just have not had time to get used to these bad changes Irene is going through with the cancer coming back, the chemo and the fall/injury to her head. Of course she understood and she said they have all had time to adjust to the changes. They do not like them, but they too had the tears and hurt feelings at first.
This was just such a big shock and I tend to be a gentle hearted person who cries at anything and only wishes to please people and do things as right as I can.
Dad was taken by ambulance to the hospital....to the ER but as a non emergency. He was actually happy to know what was causing the dizziness and that he was going to get treatment. I drove in his car over to the hospital, and then I was lucky enough to get a parking spot and meet the ambulance people rolling Dad in. His blood pressure was measuring low this morning and afternoon, and a scheduled blood test showed the electrolytes off kilter etc. But, by the time he was in the ER his blood pressure had actually gone up to close to normal. This ER had 40 beds and 4-6 trauma bays. It was actually quite busy and a flurry of activity. We arrived about 6 pm and once they did a few tests he was put on a saline drip. We found out at about 9:30 that he was going to be admitted overnight to continue the treatment and for further monitoring. I waited until he was settled into his regular room, which was after midnight. I thought my 3 hour wait for a room when I was in the ER with my pulmonary embolism was bad...this almost 6 hour one was worse. I had not eaten since 9 am, and was afraid to leave his side much in case they came back to tell us what was going on.
Let me just say that Dad's memory and all hasn't been affected. I pray he NEVER has to go through anything like this ever, like what Irene is. We were lucky that my mother passed before the cancer got her brain messed up. I know she was agitated with her situation, but she was in a perfectly coherent and smart state.
Irene's kids believe that either the cancer is spreading and affecting things more or that from her fall a few weeks ago when she hit her heard that there is some damage/injury that just hasn't shown itself yet. She was convinced this morning that she was being picked up at 6:30 am for chemo and she walked herself to the door of the facility to wait to be picked up. She's not supposed to leave her room unattended and she wasn't being picked up until 10:30. Dad said he was awake dealing with that all and she wouldn't reason with him about the time. So, to make a long story somewhat shorter, he kids called her oncologist today to see about getting her in for an MRI. Tomorrow she is being taken in. They decided not to tell her so that she wouldn't have a repeat of today with being ready way too early then being upset and so forth and have an ensuing argument with those of us around her who know what is going on.
It is sad really. I feel badly for my Dad but he is hanging in there wonderful. Marty is a nurse herself and my father accepts her medical expertise and she's been a huge help. We discussed today with Dad about depression and perhaps being put in a room apart from Irene if things do not improve for her. It is not good for him to be under the stress caused by this situation. He loves her, or as Marty said tonight he loves the person she used to be. I hope there is a chance that his Irene can come back to him, but the chances of her just going downhill are higher than not.
So, I shed a bunch of tears tonight. Tears for wishing I lived closer, tears for Irene and how awful it must feel to be in her state right now, and for Dad trying so hard to get better and having to worry about her as well.
Everything aside though, I am glad I was there today and there when he was taken back to the hospital. I know he was happy to have me by his side and I had told him that surely all those years him taking care of me meant I could spare a few hours. God must have worked it out today to have Abbi not be with me so I could focus on Dad.
I am weary, but I am also ALL alone in this house and the wind is once again awful. I understand this is typical winter weather for here. Oh how the house is rattling! I am truthfully afraid to fall asleep. Dumb, I know, but I hate being alone. If Abbi were here I would have her in the bed with me and be fine. I told her to call me in the morning when she wakes up, or to just come on over (they have a key). I asked Dad to call me if he is moved back to the rehab place, unless I call him first He knows I need sleep. I am happy that he is in a private room there and it is a QUIET room, he should get some good rest. Unlike me who is fretting the wind. I am not the important one right now though. Let's hope tomorrow (today) is a better day, or at least calmer. Perhaps my big news of the day will be that I saw snowflakes, in addition to good news on Dad.
For now though I need to give sleeping a try as it is 2:31 am.
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