Pins and Needles

I spent most of the day on pins and needles. I got an email from my principal first thing this morning that he needed to see me TODAY. Well, I knew I had no time until last period. So, for the entire day I fretted and got all worked up about what it could possibly be. This man does this to me. He has been very harsh with me the entire year, liked almost nothing I have done or the way I've done it, and so much more. This is completely opposite of how previous principals dealt with me. So, whenever I am called down to his office, I immediately become a mess, my chest starts to hurt and I just am very uptight.

So, imagine my relief when I finally go in and I am NOT told to shut the door and he smiles at me. WHEW! Turns out the new director will be in town the week of May 12-16 and he will be introducing him to the kids and parents that week. The principal asked me today to hold off on the guard and drum major auditions I had scheduled for this coming week, because the new director wants to do them. WHEW! Don't get me wrong, I am a bit sad that I won't get to do them, after I was asked to and have been preparing my students for them, but this is good. This new director really is going to be great (I do know who it is), but it is sort of stepping on my toes while I am still the director for another six weeks. I am trying very hard not to look at it that way, and I hope that I can be a valuable resource and get to spend a little time with this guy to help him take over my band and make it his own. I have absolutely no qualms that he is going to be just what these kids need to take them to the next level. The kids SO deserve it, but I just do not have the experience to get them there....I just do not know how to. As hard as this has been to go through with the way it has been approached with my principal, I do know that my dream of doing this may have been an unrealistic one. Perhaps with a smaller school I would have been able to do better, but these kids are so talented. I really do expect them to soar next year and I know that even with me gone, there will be a little piece of me right there in their hearts. Some of the kids do not want me to leave, and will tear up each time we speak of "next year", as do I. Today I was watching two of my current drum majors work with a newbie, and I was sitting in my office and just lost it realizing I won't be a part of them next year...we all shared a moment and I continually let them know I am so confident in what the year will hold for them with a new person at the helm and to keeping working hard to get the results they want. I've got to set them at ease, and also allow them (and me) to get through this process as well. These are the kids I have left my mark on, the ones I have managed to instill a great deal of pride for themselves and going after what they want and their dreams. It is hard to explain.

I could go on a nice, long time with this. The principal did forward a very nice email to me to get to the parents/kids and it contained a compliment about me. He hasn't given me many of those (the last two years all I got were compliments) so it felt good to get it.

I have a feeling there will be lots of tears the next six weeks. Part of me does not want to say goodbye to this job and these kids, but I know I must. I still do not know what I will be doing next year. My supervisor is working on something but he is out of town until Monday. I have contacted the school connected to our church (I know the principal) and sent her my resume for a music job (K-8). I don't like not having something nailed down and not knowing where I will be. Once that is worked out, I know I feel feel very relieved!

I did not see my girls today. I had a Ladies Auxilliary meeting/dinner at church and decided to just stay at school after school and do some work. I'm glad, I have so much to do and got a lot done. I can hardly bear the thought of moving all my things out, but soon that will need to happen. I had a very nice time with my friends at the dinner though. On the way home, I had to fill my car up with gas......$3.29 a gallon! Though with my Kroger card I paid $3.19. WOW. When I was in high school, it was anywhere between 88 and 99 cents a gallon.

My wonderful husband planted all my flowers this evening so when I got home I had a nice surprise....isn't he sweet? I can't wait to see them in the daylight tomorrow. Although it is supposed to rain all day. We are almost 7 inches OVER the average rainfall for the year. It has been a very wet spring.