I'm in a bit of a funk, related to parenthood, and not enjoying it a whole lot at the moment. I am, but we're facing some new challenges with the oldest that are just testing us all. It's frustrating, but we've got to figure out how to get it in check. We set the clocks back last night, I was thrilled to be in bed at 1 pm (really 10 pm), and had the alarm set for 7:20 am. When you think about it, that's a LOT of sleep! Dave decided to turn the ceiling fan off, but I kept waking up because it was TOO quiet in the house. The whir of the fan is something that's become part of me and my sleep. So this morning, Abbi and Libbi wake when Dave calls them to, to get ready to go sing at church. Abbi rushed Libbi off back into her room, then a few minutes later both girls come back in my room and Abbi says Libbi has something to tell me....and Libbi says she doesn't want to go to church choir and sing this morning. Abbi put her up to saying it. Abbi didn't want to sing, and we couldn't get it out of her why. She knew she'd been caught, and poor Libbi was simply used. Abbi has already had so many things taken away, her tv for a month, her DS for a week....but nothing we do for seems to make a difference in her attitude. She is indeed a super sweet girl, but she is SNEAKY. She's been moody and goes form saying mean things to tearing up in two seconds. Is this the hormonal phase starting up? I thought I understood it, being that I'm a female and all and have been through it. However, I'm finding I am COMPLETELY lost. Her DS has now been taken away for good, her tv is gone for another month. The next thing is she'll be removed from dance company, then from the special dance she and Libbi will be doing at the May recital (they'll start private lessons in January to learn it). I don't know how to handle this....I want to be firm, but at the same time I know she doesn't understand how to handle the emotions. I'm trying to teach her to walk away when other kids say things or do things to push her over the edge, instead of letting her mouth get the best of her or better yet, her foot (she kicked a friend this evening as he wouldn't leave her alone after she walked away from a game he wouldn't play by the rules, which made her mad). I'm not at all saying she was in the right, but there comes a point where she can only handle so much right? I wasn't there, or I may have had more answers and better been able to deal with it. I'm quite positive that whatever it is she's reached in this entire stage of being 9, I have to hold her accountable for her words and actions, and try to teach her how to keep them in check on her own.
To digress back closer to the subject at hand, Dave didn't back down on taking the girls to church to sing. Abbi decided to put on jeans and sneakers, while Libbi chose a dress. Now, my girls know darn well how to dress for church, but Abbi refused to today. There was no time for her to change, so she went in what she had and even though by that time she decided she wanted to sing after all, we wouldn't let her do so dressed as she was. This upset her. I had orchestra, so I was at a different church. She learned a lesson from this I do believe. But in giving things a closer thought, Abbi does not have many dress clothes. We're not talking super dressy, she is NOT a frilly diva girl like Libbi LOL. I wonder if on some level this bothered her....the seasons have abruptly changed, and she is in dire need of a couple nicer outfits. I will approach her with this tomorrow, when everyone is calmer after the events of today. She has gone up 4 sizes of clothes in just over a year, mainly due to height, not to mention several shoe sizes. I am seeing a shopping trip for her and I in the near future, not as any type of reward, but to give the girl some choices for church wear and of course she and I said just last week she needs some long sleeve shirts and something other than sneakers and one pair of brown dress shoes.
Dave isn't handling this well at all. He has no idea how to begin to handle Abbi either. it appears to be time again for us to adjust and tweak the parenting. He and I have never completely jived in this aspect of our marriage...he has the military, barking background, and I have the complete opposite. It proves to be difficult in our handling of our children.
ANYWAYS, I needed to get that off my chest. I'm hopeful for a better week, hopeful to implement some new things for the girls, and hopeful that we can simply ALL make better choices in this thing called life.
No comments:
Post a Comment